Wired for Dating

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Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate.

Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they’re doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, published by New Harbingerpsychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship.

Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life.

If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.

Therapists! When you purchase Wired for Dating, you can receive a complementary companion Handbook for Therapists. All you need to do is sign in to access a PDF of the handbook.


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Where was Stan Tatkin when I was dating? I highly recommend Wired for Dating to anyone who is ready for a secure-functioning relationship. Alanis Morissette, artist and activist


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Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

Wired for Love, published by New Harbinger (2012), with a foreword by Harville Hendrix, is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and promoting love and trust within a romantic relationship. You will learn ten scientific principles you can use to avoid triggering fear and panic in your partner, manage your partner’s emotional reactions when he or she does become upset, and recognize when your brain’s threat response is hindering your ability to act in a loving way. By learning to use simple gestures and words, you will be able to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages you to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain” understanding of your relationship. Based in the sound science of neurobiology, attachment theory, and emotion regulation research, this book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.


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If you feel lost, confused or alone in your relationship, get this book right now. You will finally make sense out of your chaos and pain.

Peter Pearson, PhD
co-founder of The Couples Institute, Menlo Park, CA

Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships (6 CD set)

by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

“Understand your brain, improve your relationships.” That’s what Stan Tatkin has learned from his leading-edge work as a researcher and couple therapist. In this complete audio learning program, he merges current insights from neurobiology and attachment theory to help you shift out of conflict and into deeper and more loving connections.

You’ll first learn to identify attachment styles–patterns of intimacy that begin in the earliest years–both in yourself and in those around you. Then Tatkin guides you through his proven principles and practices for building enduring security and commitment between partners, family members, and others whom you love.

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Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy

by Marion Solomon and Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

Neuroscience and couples therapy come together to help couples break patterns of bad behavior. What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help deescalate the battles? Two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to help couples regulate each other’s emotions, maintain secure attachment, and foster positive, enduring relationships. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy.



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In this innovative couple therapy they have determined the healing power of couples learning to take care of each other.

Harville Hendrix, PhD
author of Getting the Love you Want